dispatches from the suburban front

AM SURROUNDED BY PRE-TEENS - COFFEE SHOP SWARMED AT PRECISELY 3:09 PM. ALL GIRLS CLAD IN UGGS - WHY GOD WHY? AND THERE ARE LEGGINGS - FEEL SO OLD.

EVERY OTHER KID ALSO HAS CELL PHONE. KIDS THESE DAYS I TELLS YA.

SRSLY GUYS, THEY JUST KEEP COMING. THERE HAVE BEEN 40 AT LEAST, JAMMING INTO A SPACE THE SIZE OF STAUF'S RETAIL SECTION.

pls send help. there's a lot of high-pitched giggling going on here.