Things I never want to hear again

[e_clare]

1. DOOR TO MY ROOM @ 2 AM: *click*
ME (OUTSIDE THE DOOR @ 2 AM): Wait, where are my keys...?

2. LIGHTING/SOUND DESIGNER/TECHNICIAN: Hey, I'm retiring at the end of the month!
THEATRE DEPT.: Yeah, and we're not replacing you, either.

3. PINCH-HITTING ACTOR: I know I said I could, but it turns out I can't. I'm just so busy right now.

4. ANYONE: There's no room in the budget for that.

5. TECH SUPPORT: I hope you've got your files backed up, 'cause you're going to need to reinstall Windows.
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*cough*